the one

Tales From Relationships of Yore: Not The One

So once upon a time, there was this boy—and, at four years my junior, “boy” described him perfectly. He was many things I wanted in a potential mate and many things I didn’t. I saw those deal-breaker sticking points and refused to give him a second thought for many months of his advances. He would flirt and I would dismiss. He would pursue and I would trot off in the other direction. “He’s not The One,” I told myself.

The Online Saga Part 4: The Land of 1001 First Dates

I’ve quickly come to realize the world of online dating is simply one in which first dates are handed out like urine mints in a classy restaurant. Just as in a bar setting, most individuals are willing to take an hour or two to get to know a stranger they consider at least somewhat attractive. Initially upon embarking on this online endeavor I considered that one (if not the only) benefit of online dating would be the ability to pre-screen my prospects and filter out the definite “no’s” before wasting time with the face-to-face step. And while this is valid on some level, I’m beginning to think the main difference between online dating and the bar scene seems to be more in volume rather than quality of match (also the sky is blue).

He Turns My Gray Skies Blue

This past week, I’ve come upon yet another completely obvious, but never-the-less important, requirement for my future Mr. Perfect. He needs to possess the inexplicable ability to transform my day regardless of where I’m at on the emotional spectrum. There are some people in my life who can completely turn my day around with a short conversation sprinkled with a few encouraging words. It’s not necessarily because they have brilliant advice to offer. They may not say anything more than a compassionate stranger would, but the level of trust and respect I have for them elevates their wisdom.

The Man Who Inspired My Impossible Standards

In the vein of settling and my apparently unrealistic standards I’ve taken a closer look at why I am the way I am and why I believe that there is someone out there who will live up to my expectations. The proverbial “they” say that girls marry men who are like their fathers and I have one of the best. It’s not even that I see him through rose-colored daughter glasses. Many people have told me that I can’t hold every guy I date up to standards set by my father because they will all fall short.

The Unanswered Question

I don’t know if it’s because we are getting older, but my friends have been exploring what it means to find the one: How it should feel? How do you know? At what point should you know? As with every aspect of love and relationships this topic has been analyzed to death and no one has ever found the answer. That’s because there isn’t one.

There's No Explaining Attraction

I’ve had countless discussions with various people about what makes a person attractive. I’ve debated with friends about whether or not a particular guy or girl is attractive, but when it comes down to it, beauty is highly subjective and there is no explaining it. I’ve seen an absurd number of women who, in my mind, are far more attractive than the men they are with.