cheating

Ugh, The Creepy Look Don’t Touch Rule Doesn’t Apply to Online Dating Profiles

Ugh, The Creepy Look Don’t Touch Rule Doesn’t Apply to Online Dating Profiles

All this chatter about Ashley Madison has led to some interesting/infuriating/ad nauseum discussions about relationships and cheating. The defenses of public-ish figures caught in the honey trap range from a very special Mark Driscoll Real-Marriage brand of victim blaming to Shaggy’s perfectly articulated “it wasn’t me.” My favorite, and the one I’ll address here is the age-old “It was just for funsies. I looked, but I didn’t touch.” Anecdotally and sorta newsly this lame ass excuse is presumed to have legs according to what I presume is skeevy men. 

 

The Work Spouse

The Work Spouse

The 50s were a better time. Women didn’t have real roles in the workplace and once the ring hit their finger they were out. Safely relegated to home in their position as an actual wife. Now, they overstay their welcome and brazenly make a real contribution to the team. All this collaboration leads to interpersonal connections, which, after 40 plus hours a week, morph into a relationship. A relationship that quickly becomes the much talked about faux marriage.

 

Judgement from Swingers

Judgement from Swingers

I thought for sure after I had gotten married I would be rescued from the judgment of smug married people (SMPs) after all I’m in the club now. I’m an SMP! Huzzah! I can’t wait to be insufferable and offer wisdom-filled gems to the poor singles of the world, like “when you stop looking, you’ll find love” and “you really have to love yourself first,” and “you just have to open yourself up to love,” and “he didn’t deserve you.” Okay that last one is always dripping with truth, so I get a pass when I say that. 

Hear No Evil See No Evil Post No Evil

Last week Cheaterville.com was in the “news” for a sketchy ad they had designed to apparently warn the celebrities of the Toronto Film Festival against stepping out on their significant others between indie screenings and Q and A sessions. The concept of the site is similar to the original intent of Dontdatehimgirl.com, before they gave over to pressure (and, seemingly, human decency). Basically when someone feels they’ve been wronged by a cheating spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/unusually close pet, they take to the site to rant in horrific detail about the transgressions of the trollop/whatever the male version of a trollop is. Best of all they get to include pictures and a detailed description of the cheater including height, weight, location, ethnicity and sign—the FBI doesn’t have files this extensive.

The Itch

The Itch

Our attention spans are getting shorter in every regard, including romantically. A study released last month made the observation that the one-time seven year itch has inched it’s way closer to three years. Granted this study came as an effort to promote Hall Pass, so it should be taken with a grain of salt (as any study should), but it’s still disconcerting. The article speaks more to the staling that naturally occurs rather than directly about the cheating that has become a symptom of the itch. This I understand. Relationships will ultimately become familiar and it will take a concerted effort to (for lack of a less cheesy phrase) maintain the spark. But I feel like it’s at this point where that real love stuff everyone is always babbling about comes in.

All’s Fair in Love and War: Thievery

In the history of romance it has always been understood when a person is married, engaged or in a relationship he or she is off limits. They belong to someone.  For nearly as long as this unwritten rule has reigned, audacious thieves have been challenging it.  There are even articles and Wikihows devoted to spelling out tactical approaches for relationship robbers. Despite the constant attack on this unspoken understanding, it has not waivered and the efforts of the thief are generally frowned upon by the whole of society. But is this fair? 

Don't Hate the Pawns, Hate the Player

Why is it that as women we so often view other women as enemies? This is especially true when we fall prey to the manipulative games men play when seducing multiple women at once. I have seen this game played so expertly that the guy will have the women he is sleeping with all together in one place and not only do they not realize that they are all being used by the same man, but they will instantly turn on each other.